Well arranged DATE...

Well arranged date

Going in for an arranged marriage? Meeting the prospective needn’t be a hellish affair Namrata.Bhawnani @timesgroup

    At some point, singletons will feel pressured by their parents and an assortment of relatives to consider someone they’ve shorlisted. Arranged marriages are a legit way to meet people, and whether you enter the market willingly or grudgingly, you will at least meet people who are serious about commitment. So, what is the protocol when you meet someone through a more formal medium? Your attitude to the process could make it at least a painless, if not enjoyable process. Karishma Malkani, who has been setting up eligible singles for 12 years now, gives you a few tips on arranged date decorum:
ELIMINATE TO FACILITATE Ninety per cent of Karishma's clients tend to shortlist people on the basis of the photograph. But pictures can be misleading. "Some people look better in person, some photos make a person appear more attractive. I always tell my clients not to base their judgment simply on a picture. A smiling photograph in Western casuals (that seems to be the general preference) will do the trick."
    Unfortunately, she points out, there are more eligible girls than boys. It's harder to find decent looking and well educated boys, so the boys end up having more choice than the girls.
    It's also important to shortlist profiles on factors such as diet (vegetarians prefer not to meet nonvegetarians), living with the family or apart, etc. This helps save time and energy on both sides.
MINUS THE KHANDAAN, PLEASE Earlier, when two families met, usually they'd be accompanied by an assortment of siblings, grandparents, uncles and aunties. Karishma has noticed that the new trend is for the couple to meet minus the chaperones. "Youngsters prefer meeting alone at a coffee shop. With the khandaan, they barely get time to know each other. The second meeting could be with the parents. Some people still go with their folks, but it's uncomfortable to have people staring at you. Others, especially the girl's parents, want to see the boy first before letting him meet their daughter. Eighty five per cent parents are letting their kids meet alone. To take immediate family is perhaps okay, but not other relatives."
    It's embarrassing to be directed to another table. "Go talk, beta," is the usual refrain. Avoid it. For obvious reasons.
ASK ME ANYTHING. OR NOT Now that you've met and your potential partner hasn't repulsed you in the first five minutes, what are the appropriate subjects to touch on? Karishma says, "The first meeting is more formal usually. I've noticed that now people ask about everything frankly. They want to know how well settled the other person is, how many siblings, how many relationships the other person has had, etc. Ideally, leave the more personal questions for the next date. Some people have complained that they don't like being asked that. Talk about mutual interests and likes and dislikes. Be yourself, because you can't fool anyone for long."
    Questions like 'Can you cook?' are redundant. You're looking for an equal partner, not a maid. Ensure that your queries are phrased in the least offensive manner.
WHAT'S YOUR SALARY? To inquire about a prospective candidate's financial status is not a polite question. You're not buying a commodity, this is a life partner you're thinking about. "Of course, it's important," says Karishma, "But usually I have the financial details of those registered with us. So, it saves the embarrassment of asking that question."
CHEQUE, PLEASE If the kids meet alone, says Karishma, usually it's the boys who pick up the cheque. "Yes, the thought that he can't pick up a piddly coffee bill may cross the girl's mind. Also, I think the belief that when families meet, the girl's parents are supposed to pay is outdated,” she says.
SORRY. NEXT… Arranged marriages are like the lottery. “I met my husband on the first meeting and now we’re celebrating our 14th anniversary. But not everyone is so lucky,” she says with a laugh. So how do you politely communicate your disinterest? You could always have a friend on standby who calls you with an emergency. Karishma laughs, "Usually, people leave the dirty work to me. If you want to meet the person again, ask for the phone number and send a polite message. Pay them the respect of giving them your full attention even if you don't like them. Or just go home and tell your parents it isn't working."
    Most parents would like you to make up your mind after about three meetings and they don't like their daughters meeting a guy ten times before he rejects her, Karishma observes. And there is not need to insult anyone when you reject them. Usually, the safest excuse is to say that the horoscopes don't match. That way you can blame the divine powers for the mismatch.
AMATEUR SHERLOCK HOLMES-ING
Arranged set-ups always throw up the trust factor question. There have been instances where people have hidden their medical condition or lied about their financial status. So how does one know if a person's claims are real? Karishma says, "People conduct discreet inquiries from at least four-five sources when they zero in on a bride/ groom. I caution them to not barge in at their workplaces or randomly call up colleagues. Go with an appointment. I don't give away the names of the companies where the candidates are working. People ask in societies as well. Normally, they just figure out a friend or relative who knows someone in the marriage prospect's company to make discreet inquiries."
    Go through the process thoughtfully, and hopefully you'll make an informed decision that will change your life beautifully. 

 

ARE YOU REWARD-WORTHY?

ARE YOU REWARD-WORTHY?

Although the Reward and Recognition (R&R) policy is quite common in the corporate arena, firms are thinking beyond mere monetary benefits to keep their employees happy, says Sheetal Srivastava

    In the current scenario, it is vital to look beyond compensation as the sole motivation and retention factor for employees.With changing times, monetary rewards and medical/health benefits are no more novelties for the employee, but have become mandatory hygiene factors to be a part of any organization. Hence, these benefits are not lucrative enough to retain employees in current times.
    “Increasingly, it is becoming vivid that the battle for talent involves much more than highly effective, strategically designed compensation and benefits programmes. While these programmes remain critical, the most successful companies have realised that they must take a much broader look at factors w.r.t attraction, motivation and retention. And they must deploy all of the factors including compensation, benefits, worklife, recognition, development and career opportunities to their strategic advantage,” says Rajeev Bhadauria, group president- HR, Reliance Infrastructure.
    “In today’s times, companies are following the ‘Total Rewards’ philosophy comprising a combination of market relevant rewards that draw from individual, team and business performance and believe in rewarding meritocracy. Companies in India are looking at differentiated rewards systems, and adopting ‘Total Rewards’ practices that cover not only cash component, but also pay for performance, benefits, work-life balance programmes, competency/skill based pay packages, career opportunities such as overseas assignment, job rotation, etc,” expresses Prithvi Shergill, lead India HR, Accenture.
    The key to employee retention today is to look beyond just fixed pay and variable pay – and move to smart people management practices. HCL Technologies has introduced unique initiatives like ‘O2 League of Extraordinary’ and ‘Xtra Miles’ that focus on making employees feel valued and motivated. O2 recognises employees who are given the rating of ‘outstanding’ in their performance reviews for two consecutive years. Similarly, Xtra Miles is a unique reward & recognition portal, which is an empowerment tool in the hands of HCLites to recognize extraordinary efforts and sterling performances of peers, colleagues or seniors as well as encourage the ‘Thank You’ culture.
    The concept of ‘Total Rewards’ is focused on enabling an emotional connect between the employees and the organization by providing work-life benefits, health care, education, recognition, mentoring, etc.Those companies who have very well-defined philosophies with regard to holistic and sustainable growth will emerge progressive.To enjoy the benefits of overall productivity and reduced attrition, companies need to find that perfect combination, which allows employees to succeed in both personal and professional spheres.“One of our rewards and recognition programmes include global mobility that allows performers to take on international assignments within the AXA group,” says Chirag Buch, head HR, Bharti AXA General Insurance. Nokia Siemens Networks encourages international career assignments with employment policies designed to facilitate and not inhibit job mobility within the company. In addition, international short-term and long-term delegations providing challenging assignments in other countries can also be a part of an employee’s personal development plan.
    Whatever the route, engaged employees help bolster the bottom-line of the company by building the reputation and brand of the company, as they stay longer and strive harder to perform. And what better way than rewarding and recognizing them!
sheetal.srivastava@timesgroup.com

WATERCOOLER BYTES

Do you think in the present-day corporate scenario, investment in effective HR tools has become mandatory?

SOUMIK BANDHYOPADHYAY, chief executive officer, ATS Group: “The key differentiator in businesses across industries today is the quality of human resources. Therefore, no investment can be enough to capacitise the HRM function with tools and practices to discharge its responsibilities in an organisation. An effective HR mechanism must focus on hiring based on organisational fit, not just job fit; keep employees engaged through an environment of continuous development, trust and empowerment and nurture aspirations through continuous reward and recognition. The focus of generating employee productivity must shift from employees to the employer and this can only be achieved through an effective and a responsive HR system.”
ADITYA NARAYAN MISHRA, VP-staffing, Ma Foi Randstad: “Organisations need to provide HR with sufficient resources to ensure that organisational goals are in alignment with managerial ones. And in order to ensure the above, organisations need to play a vital role and make the necessary investments.”
ROSITA RABINDRA, executive vice president and head HR, NIIT Technologies: “HR initiatives contribute directly to improved staff satisfaction and productivity, both of which, impact the success of an organisation. Many companies have made several investments and empowered HR to run their own show.”
    (Compiled by Priya C Nair and Yasmin Taj)

 

Narcissism; The GOOD EVIL !!!

According to recent scientific researches, the demand for a certain new breed of leaders is gaining momentum. Vinnie Bhadra introduces you to the “narcissistic” leader and highlights the pros and cons of this leadership style Today’s business leaders maintain a markedly higher profile as compared to their predecessors. They go out - and out to promote themselves and the company and do not believe in hiding behind the corporate veil anymore. Just like the various personality types that psychiatrists have identified, this leader personality type is identified as the “narcissist” personality. Case studies show that narcissists are good for companies that need people with a vision and the courage to take them in new directions. But a narcissist can also lead companies into trouble by refusing to change their negative quirks. Most people think of a “narcissist” in a negative way, as Sigmund Freud, the world-renowned neurologist and psychoanalyst named this personality type after Narcissus, a mythological figure, who died because of his pathological preoccupation with himself.    Due to this reason, narcissists are divided into two categories - productive narcissists and unproductive ones. To be a great leader, one has to fall in the former category and not venture to the dark side of this personality type.    “Many great leaders have shown traits of narcissism and they have been most productive. Most of the times, the positive side has been far heavier than the negative side. Narcissist leaders are exemplary visionaries. Their clarity of thoughts guides the rest. They are obsessive and thus, keep the show going. They expect everyone to believe in their vision and keep no stone unturned to achieve the same,” says Sudhir Dhar, head - HR, Motilal Oswal Financial. “Narcissist leaders are obsessed about themselves and their own image. This negative mindset can actually be harnessed in a positive way. Since they are acutely aware that they will be judged by the success of the organisation, their leading style and image are important to them and they will work compulsively to ensure that goals are met,” says Harsh Chopra, country manager, Adizes Institute. Narcissist leaders have the potential to be good leaders. Since they like to be in the position of power, they can contribute a great deal to the organisation as well. Also, as they are not good team workers, they may excel in areas where they need to work independently. One can harness the strengths of narcissism by making organisational goals your personal ones. Since “selflove” is so strong, this inevitably translates into organisational success. The drive and passion for achieving personal success gets directed constructively towards meeting organisational goals.      Thus, deciding whether or not to hire a narcissist leader can be a tricky situation, as there are downfalls, as many successes. But, with the dramatic changes taking place in the corporate world today, firms are realising that a productive narcissist leader is their salvation from redundancy and complacency. Companies need leaders who do not try to anticipate the future, but create it. However, it is important for these companies to realise the limitations of the narcissist leader and work with him/her to keep those negative traits in check.   ATTRIBUTES OF A PRODUCTIVE NARCISSIST, according to Sunitha Murthy, product development leader, Pearson Talent Assessment: Confidence Charisma Self-reliance Good persuasion/ influencing skills Great vision Inspiration to people   ATTRIBUTES OF AN UNPRODUCTIVE NARCISSIST, according to Bhawana Pandey, head HR, Protiviti Consulting: Grandiose perceptions about themselves Self-indulgence Extreme dominance Lack of empathy Poor listening skills Non-receptiveness to criticism TimesAscent: 20-Apr-11

 

Good article from Times-Life... especially last few sentences... Who wins, really?

Who wins, really?

Is winning everything? Chasing a dream has its own charm, says Anuradha Varma

TIMES NEWS NETWORK

VICTORY is not always about the stands erupting in a joyous whoop, but a quiet, inner satisfaction that comes from having given one’s best. From sporting greats who made history, to an autistic child completing a race or learning to make a terminally ill parent top priority, success is often about achieving personal milestones.

Success isn’t about winning Winning before a stadium is not always the yardstick for success. Cricketing legend Kapil Dev seemed to think so too when asked whether Mahendra Singh Dhoni, going into the World Cup finals, was a good captain. Kapil, who led India to World Cup victory in 1983, declared, “I will never doubt Dhoni’s credentials as a captain irrespective of the result of World Cup final. Look at Ricky Ponting. He has won two World Cups and after one bad World Cup, he is out. That’s not the way to judge a captain.”
For Dhoni too, when he hit the defining sixer, it was a point he proved, but not to the world. He said, “I had a point to prove to myself and to no one else.”

It’s the journey that counts Life is unpredictable and it’s the journey that’s important. Pawan Adhikari, after seeing major career upsets, finds himself wellsettled in an MNC. He is a winner for having survived it all. Says Pawan, “I know for sure that the ups won’t stay forever, and neither will the lows. Yes, when the chips are down, it’s difficult to look for the silver lining, but persistence keeps you going. When you’re in the dumps, remember that the change is just round the corner.”
The world recognises a winner eventually, even though you may not feel like one right now. Actor John Abraham, on the couch for the show Koffee with Karan defended his flop film No Smoking as among his favourites. He believed it was important to keep doing such films as one day, they would matter. When Dame Beryl Bainbridge died aged 77 last year, she had been rejected five times by the Booker Prize jury. Regarded as a master storyteller, organisers asked readers to vote for one of her five shortlisted novels to be awarded a special prize called The Man Booker Best of Beryl.

It’s about personal victories Merry Barua, who started Action for Autism after her son was diagnosed with autism has learnt to value little victories. She says, “There is no winning or losing. The first time your child looks you in the eye, follows your instruction without a prompt, a seven-year-old who has just learnt to show a card to indicate a need to go to the toilet... or the first time my then 15-year-old son said, ‘I love you!’”
Jaya (name changed) was in her early twenties when her parents fell ill. While they eventually succumbed to their illnesses, there are no regrets. She says, “I know I did more than my best. I made them top priority. I put their welfare before my own.”

Learning to evolve A long cherished dream can fire your passion, but also put you on the road to something greater. Poet, writer and Tibetan freedom activist Tenzin Tsundue believes the struggle for Tibet is a personal journey of self-discovery. Says Tenzin, “Sometimes, we fight because we have to, there is morally no other option. There is a dignity in the struggle, which helps us understand our own identity better.”
Nurture a dream, do your best… and enjoy the journey!

Build Your Own Winning Team

By Mrityunjay Srivastava

With the Indian Premier League beginning today, 2011 is turning out to be a cricket-heavy year.

But watching cricket need not be all play and no work.

In fact, India’s historic win in the ICC World Cup Saturday is a case study for managers on the power of the right team. Indian captain M.S. Dhoni successfully channeled the energies of disparate team members in a way that helped them become world champions.

Like Mr. Dhoni, corporate managers also face the task of building teams which can achieve high performance for the team as well as for the organization.

Here are some tips managers can keep in mind:

1. Figure them out: Knowing the pulse of your team can help you achieve amazing results. Mr. Dhoni knows the strengths and weaknesses of his players, which helps him decide which batsman or bowler to use at different points during the game.

Similarly, once you understand your team, such as who is the go-getter versus the slow-and-steady performer, you can better plan their assignments in a way that the team goals are achieved smoothly.

2. Team first: When you discuss performance goals with team members, go beyond individual goals to communicate what the team needs to achieve.

Lead by example to show that the team’s success is ahead of your personal goals or that of any one member of the team. Remember, playing favorites goes directly against team spirit.

3. Build an open culture: A manager influences the culture of the place to a great extent because often team members closely follow what the manager says and does.

Try and create an environment where people share their thoughts with conviction and there is healthy debate. This atmosphere can make work an enjoyable activity and achievement a habit.

On a cautionary note, pitting one team member against another only brings discredit to the manager in the long run.

4. Have faith: Poet John Keats once said, “It is easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone.”

One way to win your teammates is to trust them to do their jobs well.

Look at how Mr. Dhoni gives freedom to his bowlers and fielders on the field, and doesn’t ask them to do things in a specific way. In turn, these players feel empowered and put in their best performance.

Your faith that your teammates “can do” makes them create and leave best practices for the coming generation.

5. Tackle issues not people: Once a senior manager got angry with some of his team members and said: “We need to have MBA graduates to complete this work.” His team members were not MBA graduates. How do you think they felt?  Was this an issue-based comment or a direct personal attack?

Good team managers always discuss the problem at heart, not the individual.

Look at how Sachin Tendulkar, after winning the match against Pakistan last week, went around telling all team members that their work was not over. He was focusing on the issue and not about what a specific individual needed to do.

6. Be a coach: Winners also need coaches. If you understand the aspirations of your team members, you can  guide  them and help unleash their potential. When your colleagues see that they are growing professionally, they feel like giving more in return. This exudes positive vibes among team members.

7. Beyond work: Why is it that some people don’t mind working for 14 hours for one manager but for another manager they don’t want to work even for two hours? It’s because of their relationship with the manager.

Relationship building requires the investment of time and energy. Spend quality time your team without any preconceived notions and help them achieve what they need.

Sometimes, it helps to go beyond work.

One of the best people managers at Wipro, who has less than 5% attrition annually in his team, personally brings flowers to his team members’ homes on their birthday or wedding anniversary. This manager then brings the team member to the office in his car and drops him or her back home in the evening.  This gesture makes his team members feel special and wanted.

8. Be genuine: Any effort to connect with your team won’t be effective if you are not genuine about it. Genuineness always touches others. When the team believes that the manager is truly trying to help them, they don’t mind the manager being tough with them occasionally.

On the contrary, when a manager is fake in his accolades, his credibility is lost forever and that’s the end of the relationship and the team camaraderie.

In today’s highly complex and rapidly changing world, managers can no longer assume a know-it-all attitude and control everything. Plans need to be flexible and both the managers and team members should understand the organization’s direction.

This inspires the team to perform to the best of their ability to achieve common goals.

Only when hearts and minds are aligned can miracles happen. Like India’s victory after 28 years.

Mrityunjay Srivastava is general manager of corporate Human Resources development for Wipro Ltd., based in Bangalore. Write to him at mrityunjay.srivastava@wipro.com.